Change.

I've gone through so much change in my life, it's kind of hard to know where to start. But this is my blog and I can post whatever I want. 


This whole blog is a change! In my life, in my recovery, in how I go about my day. Every time I wake up, there's an instant change. Change is everywhere and everything. Every step I take, every move I make (I am not trying to rip off that great song, trust me), every thought... it changes from one to another. Sad to happy to excited to irritable to lonely to whatever other mood I am experiencing in that moment.


I'd like to focus here on the changes in my recovery. Two months ago, I realized that I had relapsed back into my eating disordered ways. I don't know how long ago I actually relapsed. I just know that I was constantly making excuses to not eat meals. THAT's a change. You see, 4 summers ago, I went into residential treatment for my eating disorder and worked my ass off to get better/towards recovery/a life free of my eating disorder. So, here I am, post-relapse, if you will, in an IOP program to get myself back to where I was after I left residential. Those are filled with changes. 




I didn't realize, really, just how much change is part of life, without even thinking about it. It literally just happens. And that's kinda cool. No, that's VERY cool. It's AWESOME. 


I wanted to make so deep, insightful post, but I realized that it doesn't have to be that way. I may regret this later while over-analyzing what I just did here on the internet, but here goes nothing.